Thoughts to Ponder

Currently I am sitting at my friend’s dining room table in Quito. I have a feeling the next couple of weeks will be pretty crazy, so I wanted to give you an update on life lately.

It’s officially been 6 months since I left home-hard for me to believe. As I look back, a lot has happened, and it’s hard to pen words to what God has taught me. First, I will catch up on a few stories in life, and then I will get back to this thought.

I officially finished my first cycle of teaching!  I was pretty excited last Saturday night to send in all of my grades and be done! I don’t go back until January 7^th, so I am looking forward to the break. In the area of teaching, well I must say that’s been an adjustment too. My first two years of teaching I was able to pray and talk about spiritual applications all the time. I miss that. However, this way of teaching provides opportunities of different kinds. Although not many of my students have come to church, here and there God provides small ways to share the Gospel , for which I am thankful. Still, I miss the discipleship and ministry of teaching, and to be honest I am not sure what that means. I am trying to note and observe what God is showing me, but I am not always sure how to piece things together.

On a practical note, I have to move again. I have been living with a couple from church the last few months, and they have been very gracious to let me stay with them. A little bit ago they decided to move to a smaller place to simplify life, and I completely understand that. I started looking a little while ago, and at first I only got closed doors. Yet, God pointed me to an apartment, and I am thankful for His direction. For now, I will be living by myself, but I am praying for a roommate if that would please the Lord. God knows the details, and I can trust that He will do what is best.

I have mentioned a few times a girl named Mercy. I have been praying for her, although not as faithfully as I should be. By God’s grace conversations have increased and she told me she would do my Dad’s Bible study with me. She even asked me where she could buy a Bible¡ I gladly went out and bought her a Bible, and last Thursday we did the first study. I can see God’s Spirit moving in her heart, and I am thrilled to see what’s going to happen. It’s nothing of my abilities to be sure, and I was definitely nervous doing everything in Spanish, but God was faithful. As we were doing the study, the Spirit guided and encouraged and reminded me THIS is why I am here. I am not technically a missionary, but my dad taught me the heart of being a missionary. There’s a joy in truly sharing the Gospel with someone who is hungry for truth…a joy I can’t compare to anything else. I understand now why my dad is out almost every night sharing and sowing seeds.

On the topic of my dad, the Lord reminded me of a few other things through his example. Right now I am visiting a dear couple in Quito, George and Cris, and George use to go to my dad’s church in Cuenca. George is now in charge of the youth group at his church in Quito, and last night he put on a big event. He created an Oscar themed event where the teens could dress up, walk on a red carpet, and then receive nominations and awards from things over the years. As I watched the event unfold, I saw the fruits of my dad’s labor. My dad may be back in the States now, but his ministry still continues in Ecuador. Why? Because he made disciples. That’s what I hope can be said of me, however long God has me on this earth, that I made disciples for Christ in a way that clearly points back to Him. I am not concerned if people remember me or not, but I pray that I submit to Christ so that He can use my life in such a way.

I guess that ties into what God has been teaching me the past 6 months. I don’t think life every turns out exactly how we think or plan in our heads, which is good because it helps us see the work of God in our lives.  Being as it’s been 6 months since I have been gone, and I originally said I would be gone a year, the questions of my future plans has been a frequent topic. To be completely frank with you, I have no idea. My visa is good until May, but I would have to look into renewing it in March if I want to stay longer. My prayer is that God gives me clear reasons to stay or to go. Right now I just have a bunch of thoughts and questions in my head. If I stay, would I stay with the same job? Would I look for a different job? If I went home, what would I do? Would I try and do some more studies? I get a little lost in all of those questions sometimes. But at the end of the day, when God makes it clear to me what He wants, that I will do, whether I fully understand it or not. Why? Because He is my Shepherd and Protector. Those are two characteristics of God that I have come to know better in the last 6 months. God has protected me and guided in countless days. He’s provided places to live, sufficient money for what is needed, a church where I can serve and be encouraged and challenged, godly friends who give biblical counsel, and a lot more. These things push me to keep following what HE puts in my path, knowing that He has thought and planned everything out already.

This is kind of a mezcla (mix) of thoughts. I wrote that Spanish word without thinking about it, but then I figured I would translate. I do a lot of Spanglish these days. My list of unknowns continues, that is true; but they are only unknowns to me. God has it under control. What I do know is that my sister and dear friend Rosina are on a plane right now to come visit me! I am so thankful they are coming, and I want to enjoy the time God has given me with them. God will show me what I need to know when He sees fit.

I waited patiently and expectantly for the Lord; and He inclined to me and heard my cry.

 Psalm 40:1

Silent yet Sustaining

 “Blessed is she who believed there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.”

About six months ago I was sitting with my pastor’s wife Marilyn, and she gave me this verse. She wanted me to meditate on it because I had quite a lot of unknowns in my life as I prepared to leave for Ecuador. Trust doesn’t require understanding, and I’m pretty sure Mary’s situation was more complex than mine. I’ve been going over Luke 1 a lot this week, but I will come back to that later.  First I want to share with you some things that God has been doing. 

Last week we had a ladies event at church for Christmas-in some ways it’s similar to the event Rejoice that Saylorville does every year . We had quite a few women there, about 80 I believe (they planned for 60). God is at work in the church, and it’s a blessing to be apart of it.  Sunday also went really well. The English service continues to grow, and this week there was even a brother and sister that came to church that are young adults!!! I was excited and thankful to God for the people He is bringing. 

The four of us helped with music at the ladies event  

Enjoying a Sunday at church

Another huge praise and prayer request is Mercy. Mercy works for Karen and David (the couple I live with). She’s around my age, and she came to church with us on Sunday night. I’ve been asking her for a while, so I was pretty excited that she finally came. She was very attentive the whole service. Today I asked her about what she thought, and she told me it was very interesting. She said that what Pastor Freddy said made her think. I asked her if she would be willing to do a Bible study with me (my Dad’s bible studies), and I think she wants to try it. She also might attend the young adults group we just started at church. Please please pray for Mercy, that God would draw her heart to Himself. I’ve definitely been challenged lately by my lack of faithful prayer for those around me, so I would appreciate your prayers in that area as well.

Today I find myself needing to meditate on the truths of Luke 1 once again. When the angel first came to Mary, he said “ Greetings O favored one, the Lord is with you.” I thought about this phrase for a while. Most of the time when an angel is sent to relay a message, the first thing said is “Fear not.” But not here. Why? I don’t know for sure, but I think Mary needed to be reminded that God loved her and was with her. Even before the angel arrived, the possibility exists that she had a lot of thoughts and questions going through her mind. Though the culture and traditions of that time were different, I can only assume there were some fears and unknowns to think through before marriage. God met her where she was and told her the truth she needed to hear. She didn’t understand everything that was happening, but she responded in faith. That’s the type of response I want to have.I can get overwhelmed with the “I don’t knows”… I feel quite helpless and alone at times;  that’s how I feel but those emotions push me to prayer because all I can do is pray, and I think that’s part of the point in this season of my life. I admit I miss going out for coffee and asking my dad all sorts of questions, I miss the advice from my mom, and I miss the counsel and encouragement I received from my church family. But God is at work here too, and this is where He wants me for now, and this is where I want to stay until He shows me otherwise.

I praise God for His word.; it truly sustains. He has caused me to rejoice simply because He is good. In Nehemiah chapter 12 a verse states “And they offered great sacrifices that day and rejoiced, for God had made them rejoice with great joy.” Joy comes from knowing God and drinking in the truths of His letter to us.

Day in and day out God is with me, and He will provide and direct. Right now I may not see certain answers, but that doesn’t mean God isn’t at work. If He’s not making things clear, that means I need to learn to wait on Him. He will piece things together the way He wants when He wants.  God showed me these verses a couple of nights ago, and they have been my prayer this week.

“Prove me, O Lord, and try me; test my heart and my mind. For Your steadfast love is before my eyes, and I walk in Your faithfulness. “

Psalm 26:2-3

Thanksgiving Extravaganza

Thanksgiving- I must admit I have never experienced a Thanksgiving quite like this one. Why? Well for a few reasons. One, I was in charge of a lot of things for a big Thanksgiving gathering, that’s a first. Two, I had to cook the turkey-ha I will get to that. Three, it was the first Thanksgiving away from my family. God was good and taught and reminded me a lot through the whole event. 

About a week before Thanksgiving, a group from church came over to help get some projects done for Thanksgiving. That was a HUGE help!! I am learning when you are in charge of something, it doesn’t mean you have to do everything. 

The day before, we went over to set up, which turned out to be a little creative too. We had planned to have Thanksgiving at the pastor’s house because there is a better set up for more people. However, a water leak had caused the house to be under construction. Therefore, we moved over to the mission house. Everything worked out just fine; I actually just kind of laughed about all of the changes. Flexibility is not just important in teaching ministry but in ministry as a whole. 

Helpers!!!!

A litter nervous about the
whole turkey thing

Thursday morning I went over bright and early to put the turkey in the oven, and later a chicken too. Now as a 23 year old, cooking a turkey for an event of over 30 people...well it’s a little intimidating to say the least! Praise God it turned out, and I thanked Him for that from the depths of my heart.

We had about 35 people who came. Some people were normal attenders to the English service, some were the leaders from the Spanish side, and some were guests. It was one great big mix of people, which I thought was pretty cool. Now everything didn’t go perfectly...we had some glitches with sound for the music part and such things, but I think overall things went well, and God blessed. 

Everyone eating!

I don’t think I sat down very long the whole day, and I honestly don’t think I ate that much, but that goes with the territory of looking after things. Though there are things I could have done better, I did enjoy the process and being able to serve in this way. I think growing up with missionary gatherings for Thanksgiving and Christmas instilled in my heart the joy of getting a large group together. God really does use all things, even childhood memories. 

Having some fun cleaning up :) 

At the end of the day, I was extremely tired! One of the church leaders looked at me and told me to go home and sleep...which I eventually did. I was able to talk to my family throughout the day as well. I must admit I missed them a lot. God has provided a wonderful church family here in Cuenca, but I missed the encouragement and fellowship of my family. That did produce a more thankful heart for the family God has given me, and that keeps me praying for them. In being away from my family, I know God has helped me know Him better and lean on Him in a deeper way. This is where God wants me, and for those reasons, I actually praise God for having me be so far away. I need to know the Lord as my protecter and provider and trust Him with all things.

Now, I have two more weeks of work, and the CHRISTMAS BREAK!!! I am not excited about that at all ;) The Lord has brought other things along my path that I need to pray through, so if God lays it on your heart, I would appreciate prayers for clear direction. Sunday my pastor preached on Psalm 23, and I was deeply encouraged that God is my Shepherd that is always at work in the life He has given me. He will guide, and I just pray that I have a soft heart to follow what He wants. 

 Surely or only goodness, mercy, and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life, and through the length of my days the house of the Lord [and His presence] shall be my dwelling place.

The Heartache of God's Will

Do you ever have weeks that completely take you by surprise? Well, that would accurately describe my last two weeks in Cuenca. I guess I am not even sure how to put to words what has occurred, but to show the faithfulness of God I do want to try. 

Two weeks ago today I was sitting in the doctors office with my friend Julia (a single missionary from Ireland). She had been having some vision problems, and that day they got worse. This doctor visit led to some more doctors visit, and then finally to an MRI. We didn’t think these things would amount to much, especially since both doctors had told us that they were fairly certain it wasn’t something serious. Yet when we talked to the neurologist, we got news neither of expected us to hear: a 70% of MS (Multiple Sclerosis). Ever since those words left the doctors mouth a week and a half ago, life has been a blur. 

The doctor advised Julia to go home for most tests, and Julia’s father and mission confirmed that would be the best idea. So instead of going on a missions trip to Loja as we had planned that weekend, Julia and I stayed to pack her things; she had to go home. 

I wish I could tell you that I spent exorbitant amounts of time in prayer and in God’s Word… I tried but to be honest my mind was having trouble soaking everything - I wasn’t sure what to make of everything. Despite my weakness, God again proved His strength. For everything that He wanted me to do, for every phone call or explanation or errand of food or medicine, He truly became my Rock. Watching someone I truly respect and admire in tears for the unexpected turn of events...broke my heart. I didn’t always have words to say, which I took from the Lord as times to be silent and simply sit with my dear sister. She didn’t doubt God’s goodness; she just didn’t understand, like the rest of us to be honest. I don’t think anyone is immune to being surprised by a phone call or a doctor’s visit. Sometimes God does prepare our hearts for these things, but sometimes we  get shocked by circumstances. That doesn’t mean God is cruel- I think I’m learning that it just means we will learn to know and lean on Him more fully by being faced with unexpected. Even when our hearts may not seem to be prepared, God is working and piecing things together we never would have thought of as being important ( For example, Julia had recently moved into the missionary house at church and put many of her possessions in storage. She knew it was God’s will, although she was hesitant at first. When the time came for her to pack up last week, it was a lot less stressful because she only had a small portion of things to take care of instead of all her belongings).

The week became a little more complicated for me as well as I was given a night class. At first, I was pretty discouraged about that because I knew that would take up more time, and I wanted to be around for Julia as much as possible. Yet even in small situations, I think God was reminding me He is in control, and if He allows a certain outcome to a situation, He has a good and loving reason for it. 

Praise God before Julia had to leave, we had some good laughs and a few despedidas (going away parties). Though it was hard for her to leave, she was able to spend time with the people she loves. She has such a heart for the country of Ecuador. 

Yesterday she finally left. I knew it would be hard to say goodbye, but  it hit me a little harder than I expected. I think part of it was that there was nothing else I could do to help-that had kept me going a lot of time. I didn’t always give myself a whole lot of time to process because I wanted to fulfill the role God wanted me too. Yesterday the tears and sadness finally came. Not only was I sad for all that she was going through, but it hit me that one of my dearest friends was leaving.We’ve had a lot of laughs together, but she was also the one I could always go to and trust and know that she would give godly counsel. She will be missed. 

Through everything, God truly made Himself known to me in a bigger way.He showed me again this is exactly where He wants me to be.I saw how the things He had taken my family through over the years had given me an understanding for how He wanted me to serve these past two weeks. There are times to pray and talk, times to cry and listen, and times to find reasons laugh (my sister Liz taught me the importance of that last one). I also became more thankful for the example of my parents. My mom was always the calm one when it came to medical issues, and she did a good job of asking the necessary questions. My dad was always the one to pray, again and again. I didn’t follow their examples perfectly, but I praise God a godly mother and father who taught me at the end of the day God’s strength and grace are what sustain us. 

I admit I leave you with a bit of a heavy heart, but a hopeful heavy heart. I know those doesn’t usually go together, but God can make them go together. God is my strength, and at the end of the day, despite heartache or unanswered questions, I can rest in His goodness. 

Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord.

Psalm 27:4

Blessed Overwhelmedness

Even to your old age I am He, and even to hair white with age will I carry you. I have made, and I will bear; yes, I will carry and will save you.

Isaiah 46:4

The last week and a half has been ...well hard. Why? I’ve pondered that as well. As is the case with me, a multitude of thoughts multiply in my head and then I just feel like I’m treading water.  That then turns into frustration because I am not trusting God like I should, and the cycle continues. Yet my God has had patience with me, and He gently reminds me He’s with me.

I think it started with getting sick last week. I have learned when I have classes through Saturday, I don’t make a whole lot of time to rest. That’s always been a struggle with teaching, to know when I’ve done enough. When I work and don’t get the rest I should, my body wears down. Plus, it’s the rainy season, so I’m guessing that doesn’t help build my immunity. Also, my schedule might be changing with work, which is part of life in these type of teaching (classes are either 5 or 10 week courses). I could go on with things that have happened, that could be changing, but that’s not the point. It took me a bit to remember that I will always have unknowns in my life, but that’s never suppose to be the focus. God puts all things in my life for a good and loving reason. 

Sometimes things weigh on me, but it takes me a while to understand why (which is not bad, because it’s a prayerful process to figure things out). My life is starting to become more established here, which is good, but then it hit me. The more established I am here, the farther I am from the life I had back in the States. That’s not a novel thought, but I think it’s hard. So much has happened that I wish people from home could understand, but to an extent they never will. That’s part of growing up and moving away, but it’s a new thing for me.

Before I left, I had people (some who know me pretty well) question my motives of why I was going, question if I could handle leaving. I always had mixed emotions about those comments. I think I feared they might be right. I mean I’m not Miss Independent. If you looked at the four kids in my family, I would have been the last candidate to move to a foreign country on her own. However, those fears always drove me back to God’s word, and anytime I came back to God’s word, I didn’t doubt this is what HE wanted. And I don’t doubt it now. Of course, I  have my weak moments of “Am I really doing well here? Am I being the light God wants? Am I strong enough?” The later question is the wrong question. I was never meant to be strong, but I’ve always tried to be.I carry burdens I was never meant to carry.

 I remember years ago, Lucas Bair (my former pastor now missionary to Brasil )preached on weaknesses. He described a weakness as a pedestal for God’s strength. That’s stuck with me over the years, and now makes even more sense. God is intentionally putting me in situations that I get lost or overwhelmed in because I need to know, not just agree with, that God is my sustainer. I will never be adequately equipped on my own; that’s the way God designed it to be. 

In the end, what I really needed was time alone with the Lord. I asked the Lord to help me not be overwhelmed with life but overwhelmed with who He is. I’ve been studying through Isaiah, the Lord showed me this verse.

And now, says the Lord—Who formed me from the womb to be His servant to bring Jacob back to Him and that Israel might be gathered to Him and not be swept away, for I am honorable in the eyes of the Lord and my God has become my strength—Isaiah 49:5

Sometimes “the servant” is referring to the remnant of Israel and sometimes to Christ, but the later part of the verse is what the Spirit used to encourage.I have had the privilege of growing up in a Christian family and the blessing of being part of God’s family for almost 10 years, but now I am learning what it means for God alone to become strength. God is with me, and He is caring for me each day. 

I’ll leave you with my favorite hymn; I went over it the other day for the class I’m helping out with at church (I’ll be sure to tell more of what’s been going on in my next post). I think it’s my favorite because it describes the heart I want to have.

Jesus I am resting, resting

In the Joy of what Thou art;

I am finding out the greatness

Of Thy loving heart.

Thou hast bid me gaze upon Thee,

And Thy beauty fills my soul,

For by Thy transforming power

Thou hast made me whole.

Wandering for Food

The other night a group of us from church decided to get some food after the service. We had about 15 of us in the group, so it took us a while to decide where we wanted to go. Then, once we finally got downtown, the restaurant we chose didn’t want to accommodate our large party. So we left, and we just started wandering the streets of Cuenca, trying to figure out where to go. We stopped at a few different places before finally finding a place that everyone liked and could afford. I actually found it all quite humorous, as it’s not out of the ordinary for decisions to take a while in Ecuadorian culture. All in all, We all had a good time , and at about 10:30 I finally got some food:)  In the process of walking, a couple of guys joked that this experience would give me something to write about. I laughed and didn’t think much of it, but with what God has been teaching me lately, the situation actually made a descent analogy.

I have now been in Ecuador for a little over four months. I’ve been spending some time reflecting on what God has been doing, and I feel like a lot has happened in four short months. I think about 90% of the things that I originally thought would occupy my time have barely been part of my life. However, things are turning out better than I could have imagined. God’s goodness in the details continues to amaze me. That being said, I have experienced struggles I didn’t expect either, yet I am knowing God better through the struggles. The two main areas that applies to are  living conditions and ministry.

I thought that I would be living with one or possibly two of my good friends here. As time passed though, those plans didn’t turn out how I had hoped. That weighed on me and discouraged me for a while, but for the past week, I have been living with a couple from church. They graciously offered a room in their house to me, and I am so grateful. To live with people and not come home to an empty apartment is such a blessing, and they truly have been an encouragement to me. God has and is taking care of me in so many ways. 

For the past two and a half months I have been attending Calvary Chapel. I didn’t really see that one coming either. I assumed I would end up going to one of the baptist churches that I had some connections with, but when I arrived God showed me a different plan. I am so thankful He did. I love helping and serving at the church. The more time I spend there, the more like a church family everyone becomes. I sincerely get fed from the Word of God each week.

The last couple of weeks my struggle/question has been how to balance my time. Little by little I am getting to know my co-workers, and I do want to be a light and a testimony to them. However, I sense the Lord increasing my heart for the ministries at church. I don’t know what that means or how exactly I am suppose to view things. I’ve had some very candid prayers with the Lord asking Him if I am doing all of what He wants me to do. I  get scared that I am missing things sometimes, or I question if I am really making an impact for the kingdom. If I am not, my life is not following the will of God. I can tend to be a little over analytical and think too intensely about these things. Moments like that make me miss my dad. I could always go to him and ask him all my questions. It’s not that I don’t communicate with my dad (he’s the only person I consistently email), but I know I have to learn to lean on my Greater Father. God is patient with me, and by His grace I am knowing Him better each day here. I have so many areas that need growth and change, but I praise God His love is not based on my actions; He will always be working in my life because He is good. 

Just like we didn’t expect to wander the streets for so long to find food, I could not have foreseen all the plans and changes God would have me for my first months here;routes kept changing. That night we enjoyed the walk despite all the delays,  and in the same way I am appreciating all “the wanderings” God is taking me through. I hope and pray I take things a day at a time, that I fulfill what my Father wants. A verse  from church this morning kind of sums it all up. 

Jesus said to them, My food (nourishment) is to do the will (pleasure) of Him Who sent Me and to accomplish and completely finish His work.

John 4:34 (AMPV)

Understanding and Appreciating Singleness

Singleness- this is not exactly a topic I foresaw myself blogging about. Why? Well, I’m not sure exactly. I think everyone has so many thoughts on this topic, and though it is where I am at, I don’t always want to draw attention to it. It’s one of the stages of life, but for whatever reason, God has laid this on my heart to write about. I have put it off for a little while, but it’s good to be transparent, and more importantly follow the Lord’s leading, so here goes.

I am a single 23 year old teacher who lives in Ecuador. That’s my description, but that’s not my identity. Do I have my days that I struggle being single? Of course I do. I am not Miss Independent, and I never had a huge desire to go off on my own.I do enjoy teaching, but I would drop that job in a second to be a wife and a mom. However, God has His perfect plan, and He continues to surprise me with where He leads me and the desires He places in my heart. I am learning more and more to enjoy where God has me now while continuing to pray and give Him the desires of my heart. 

Singleness has it’s season and blessings. For example, I have more time to give to the many friendships God has given me. At work, that’s trying to get to know co-workers and trying to set up a time to go out for coffee. For my Christian friends, that’s making time to check up and pray with one another. For my church family, that’s serving where and whenever possible. God has given me a lot of time where I can focus on other people. Do I do that perfectly? Sadly, no, but by God’s grace I am learning. Singleness does not mean I have to spend an exorbitant amount of time by myself; I just have to be a little more proactive in investing in people. That is essential for growth, or , as I have learned, I become even more self-focused. 

Side note: God answered and directed and Im going to move in with a couple from church for the time being, and I                

                           am thankful for that!

The best part of singleness, as I have come to learn and appreciate, is the time I get to spend with the Lord. Regardless of what stage of life I am at, this must always be part of my daily life, but at this stage it’s different. Sometimes the only person I can go to is God, and it’s clear to me that He alone understands. In the last few weeks I have been very aware of my weaknesses. But you know what? God has shown me even deeper how strong He is. He is my Rock, my Savior. I fall into the trap of thinking that because I’m a single girl I need to learn to tough it out, to be strong on my own. That’s a lie. My God is strong for me. It’s through His strength, through His grace, through His truth that I can face each day and decision. Decision making has never been my forte, however I am thankful for the challenges I have faced in the last few months because I was  forced to rely on God to make decisions. And through these struggles, God’s promises have become more precious. Sure my emotions may go up and down, but when I come back to God’s Word, my heart is quieted, and I am learning to rest more and more in my Greater Father. My identity is always to be found in Christ.

I have no idea how long the Lord will have me in this stage in life, but I am ok with that. That’s not my job to figure out. Right now I pray that I learn to know my God better and rely on Him alone. He’s always going to be my Hope and rest. 

Behold, God, my salvation! I will trust and not be afraid, for the Lord God is my strength and song; yes, He has become my salvation. Isaiah 12:2

That They May Know

About 15 months ago I was reading through the book of Ezekiel as I was spending time in Quito. In  the book, a phrase  is repeated over and over again that truly resonated with me.

That they may know that I am the LORD.

It  was in this time God really started to plant the desire to return to Ecuador. He made it evident to me in so many ways that this was His work, His plan. I guess I never really understood or considered the challenges ( although Im sure I probably said something to the effect of “I’m sure there will be hard days,” before I left). 

Work started this week. Time and patience are always required when adjusting to a new job. I just tend to forget that . It’s the beginning of day four, and I’ve definitely had a roller coaster of a week. During the week, I have one adult class and two kids class. The kids classes brighten my day and make me hope that I have the privilege of being a mom someday. I am done teaching by 5:30 during the week, which is a blessing (and then a Sat. morning class). As I start to learn the ropes of my job, I end up spending a lot of time on my own. I have definitely had many moments were I feel like a loner. I don’t know many of my coworkers yet, so most of my conversations during the day are pretty superficial. By the end of the day, I have spent a lot of time with people but not necessarily talking to anyone, and then I come home to a quiet apartment (still not sure what God wants to do with my living situation). When I spend a good amount of time by myself, discouragement can easily come. I remember going on walks sometimes with my sister Liz, and she could always tell when I hadn't  been spending enough time with people. She would look at me and just say “Hannah, you are spending way too much time by yourself. Snap out of it!” I would get a little frustrated with that, but now I really miss those walks.  

What is it that I find so challenging? Well for starters, I don’t know anyone very well. That’s always part of a new job. Thankfully I think there are a couple of girls that are believers at school, so I am hoping to get to know them better. Also, I am use to working in Christian environments. Besides a daycare job my freshman year in college, I realized that all of my other jobs have always been founded or run by Christians. I am in a whole new ball game now. The last couple of months I have been able to help and spend a lot of time with people at church, but now that will not be as frequent- that’s hard for me as well. I have definitely had moments the last couple of weeks were I wished I could be in full time ministry helping out at the church. Maybe God will use that desire in the future and ,although that’s not a wrong to want to serve in the church, that is not where God has called me full-time right now. I think I miss having people along side of me living for the same mission, to know God and make much of Him.

 Those are all the thoughts that have been swimming in my mind, but here are the truths. 

God has called me here. Last fall we had a missions conference at my church, and when  the wife of a  young missionary couple (that I respect deeply) was asked what was one thing people entering into missions should know she said, “Make sure you are called.” I understand that better now. Hardships and trials will always come, and sometimes my only anchor for being here is knowing that God has called me. I am not an official missionary, but God has clearly given me a mission field. Building friendships and relationships with people will definitely take time, along with understanding my job. However, there are so many lost people at work. I need to spend more time thinking and praying for them than focusing on myself. That’s where Satan likes to get me, focusing too much on how I feel or what I think. That’s what I need God’s word is for, to fend and defend  against the enemy’s lies and the selfishness of my own heart.

 I will also have to be proactive in getting to know people- this will take work. I will have to make that a priority, because only seeing teachers in-between classes will not build a very good friendship.

Before I left Iowa, I remember that one of reasons God laid on my heart for coming to Cuenca  was so that I would get out of my Christian bubbles. I don’t want to hide or just do what is comfortable. Don’t get me wrong, I know that I need Christian friends, and God has blessed me in that area. However, the main focus of my time can not be spent with them. What is the right balance between my mission field and church/Christian fellowship? To be honest, I am not sure. I am new at a lot of this, and I can get overwhelmed or scared. Those moments only come though when I am  focusing too much on my present circumstances and not on the Gospel. God is still my Greater Father, and He is still with me every step of the way. He has planned all my steps and my stops as well (George Muller paraphrase). He is putting all of this situations and challenges in my life so that I may Know He is the LORD. 

WINDS OF CHANGE

Three months. It’s kind of crazy to believe that I have been here that long. The time has gone by fast, and my Father has been so good to teach me through it all. He has blessed with many opportunities to share the Gospel, and I have the privilege of serving in a Gospel centered church. 

I wondered what would fill my time in August and September before work, and I prayed God would give me ways to serve Him. He was kind and answered that prayer. I can honestly say that I have not had a day where I have been board;) It’s been a blessing because I have been able to get to know the believers in church better, which will be a good foundation. 

Life is about to change once again though. I have meetings this weekend, and Monday I start teaching. Although I am excited, I always get a little nervous when I am about to start something new.  I don’t know what my schedule will look like, which will effect my involvement at church.I also have never had a full-time secular job, so that makes me a little uneasy. I must admit I have had my moments where I wish I could be a full time missionary ,helping in the church; that would be the comfortable thing for me to do. Maybe someday I will have that privilege, but that’s not what God has called me to right now. As I have been spending time in the Word, God reminded me of the needs of the lost. I was ashamed at how little I had thought and prayed for my upcoming ministry at school. That’s my mission field. Will there be other believers there? I have no idea. But my Father will walk with me. 

My housing situation is still a little complicated, and that has proved to be somewhat of a struggle. I have my moments where I feel lost at what I am suppose to do or how I am suppose to handle situations. However, I think that’s where God wants me. I am not strong enough to figure this out. The prideful, perfectionist side of me thinks that I should, so this is more of God’s uncomfortable grace to root out the foolish confidence I have in my own understanding and produce a deeper trust in Him. 

   Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning,
    for I am trusting you.
   Show me where to walk,
       for I give myself to you...Teach me to do your will,
       for you are my God.
  May your gracious Spirit lead me forward
       on a firm footing.

                                                             Psalm 143

DIY 101

As a kid, my mom always had HGTV  or cooking shows- my sisters and I would usually groan and ask her if we could watch something else. Funny how tables turn, and now I am wishing I had paid more attention to these things when I was growing up. 

In preparing to move to Cuenca, I knew in August and September I probably wouldn’t have a lot of teaching opportunities, and I wondered what I would do; I didn’t want to waste time, and let me tell you, the Lord has taken care of that :) I am currently helping with two major projects at church, which truly is exciting for me. 

Calvary Chapel has two houses right beside the church that they rent, and one of those  is the mission house. The house is used for missionaries or teams when they come to the church. My friend Julia, who has been a great encouragement and answer to prayer, moved into the house a couple of weeks ago. The house is…. well for lack of better terms, quite dated in an unattractive fashion. Once Karen (another lady from church) saw the house as well, we wanted to see how we could help. We started brainstorming ideas, and I must admit I started using Pintrest quite a bit! We are in the process of painting and cleaning up the house. We have a long way to go, and it will kind of depend on what get’s donated to how far we can go; I am trying to be as creative as possible in an economic way. Karen has a lot more experience in this area, and so I am thankful she helping out quite a bit! I admit I kind of wish my mom was here to help with all of this- she always had good solutions to house decorating problems; however this has made me more thankful for my mom’s example. We never had a lot of money, but she always tried to make our house a place we would want to come and spent time in at the end of the day. I want to carry the same idea for the mission house, that it becomes a place God can use to encourage the body and give rest and comfort to those who need it. 

The next project is related to Thanksgiving- yes I know it’s still about ten weeks away,  but I am learning good planning takes time. Once again Karen has been a huge help. We both research ideas, and it’s so helpful for me to have someone to discuss all the ideas with and who gives constructive  feedback. We are going to try to do a traditional dinner with the individuals from the English service. Prayers would be much appreciated as well. I can be a little over ambitious sometimes with ideas, but most importantly I want it to be something that honors the Lord and remains focused on all the blessings He has given us.

Needless to say, life has not been without activity, and for that I praise God. I am thankful that I can use my time off in a way that honors my Father. I have had some challenging moments as well. I am not sure what is happening in the roommate area-it seems the plans I thought were sure are falling through. That might surprise me, but it doesn’t surprise my God. My prayer is that I am just soft to what the Lord wants me to do. Right now I think that’s just wait; I need His direction, but until He makes it clear what He wants, I will wait and just keep pouring out my heart to Him. 

Keep asking, and it will be given to you. Keep searching, and you will find.

Keep knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who

asks receives, and the one who searches finds, and to the one who knows, the

door will be opened. What man among you, if his son asks him for bread, will 

give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you then, who 

are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your 

Father in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!

Matthew 7:7-11

Thoughts from Luke&Nehemiah

Luke 1 has long been one of my favorite chapters. I love the background story to the birth of Christ-it gives more depth to the birth of my Savior. This week I was able to attend the ladies Bible study at church(pluses to not having classes). A lot was mentioned, but what struck me was the beauty of prayer. The question was posed “How differently would I pray if I knew God was listening? I pondered that. Yes I pray, but how much contemplation or thankfulness do I give to the truth that God hears me? I think that would increase the sincerity and depth of my prayers.Life will always be full of challenges, and my heart will be prone to question God’s work or timing. However, I am learning more and more He tends to answer prayers in ways I don’t expect so I clearly see His hand. Pastor Pat once said “God leads according to our desires, not according to our plans.” That resonates with me now that I am in Cuenca. God knew the desires of my heart, but until God worked in certain ways, my plans were never to live in Ecuador on my own. God fulfilled the desires of my heart through His plan of me returning to Ecuador; His plan was better than I even imagined (Eph.3:20).

 I have to admit at 23, I have a lot of ideas or desires in my heart, but sometimes I am afraid to pray them. Why? Fear of disappointment and fear of caring too much about something God may not have for me. But as I have been reminded of in our study in Nehemiah (which I am about to get to) fear is a lack of trust in God. If I really believe God is good, I will give Him all the desires of my heart. If He closes the door I think I want opened, He has His reasons, and though it might take my heart a little while to catch up, I can trust His hand. What I can be sure of is that He hears and is at work. Zechariah and Elizabeth had long prayed for a son, but the timing is not what they thought or initially wanted. Yet God’s timing is always perfect, and He truly cared and wanted to bless them. He just needed them to wait.

Nehemiah- In a mid-week Bible study at church we have been studying this Old Testament book. I’ve really enjoyed the study and been challenged by the truths evident in the story. We’ve only made it to chapter five , and to regurgitate all my notes would be quite the post, so I thought it best to mention the highlights. 

The Jews were working on repairing the wall; this was no small task. To accomplish such a feat required time and sacrifice. By devoting time to this work, the men had to forgo their normal work-a sacrifice. A successful wall would also demand unity. Throughout the book the Jews had times where they exemplified strong unity and times where they failed in that area. That’s true of the body of Christ today. I’ve always agreed that unity is important, but the more I observe in ministry, the more I see the validity of that principle. A body has to have all the parts to function to full capacity. Now I can’t control the all the reactions of the body, but I should always be looking to see how I can honor God by serving the body. Unity is what Satan tries to destroy, which makes sense. Without unity, destruction and chaos soon follow. 

Nehemiah’s job was not easy. He took the lead many times, not just in organizing the construction of the wall, but in defending it when attacks came and addressing  sin when it penetrated among the Jewish believers. Sounds a bit overwhelming, yet he responded in a godly fashion. How? He feared God. He cared more about pleasing his God then pleasing men. He was zealous to make much of God. 

This is what the Lord has been teaching me through His Word this week. I will be sure to update soon about different opportunities God is giving me before I start work, but for today I just wanted to focus on these truths. 

Praises & Petitions

Today I want to tell you about three girls that God has laid on my heart, as praises and prayer requests. Their names are Reanna, Merci, and Alba. Let’s start with Reanna.

I met Reanna the first Sunday I attended Calvary Chapel. She’s from California and came for a few weddings of friends (She use to live here as a missionary). Through a mutual friend we started to hang out, and for the last two weeks I think we have done something almost everyday. She left this past Wednesday to return to the States, but she was such an encouragement to me. We enjoy a lot of the same movies and books, which produced a lot of laughs. But more importantly she  has a deep love for God. We were able to have some spiritual and meaningful conversations ,which was such a blessing. Not that I can’t do that in Spanish, but it’s more of a challenge (my Spanish still has a long way to go). Also through her friendship I was able to get to know more believers from the church. Little by little I am getting to know the people of the church better, and I hope that continues to grow. Reanna may have only been here for a short time, but God definitely used her in a great way in my life. God blesses with things I don’t even know how to pray for.

. 

One of the ministries the English service has is a mid-week Bible study. This study is usually held at a dear couple’s house, Karen and David. They have been another blessing to me. I love conversing with Karen; she definitely has the gift of encouragement and giving. Karen’s maid is named Merci, who is 21.

Side note: For those of you who are not as familiar with South American culture, having a maid is extremely common here. When I lived here as a child, we had a maid. In reality it provides more jobs for women who are usually in positions that really need jobs, and hopefully it is a means to witness to them as well. 

A few weeks ago I was able to sit down with her and get to know her a little bit. She wants to work on her English. As I shared in my last post, God has laid on my heart the importance of discipleship. I don’t have a whole lot figured out yet, but I am praying about trying to give her some English lessons, lessons that will include not just grammar and vocabulary, but the Gospel. Please pray for wisdom and guidance there. So much of life is still new territory for me.

As I have mentioned, I have had the privilege to teach a class the last few weeks. And yesterday God blessed with another opportunity that concretely pointed to His hand. After class my student Alba asked if she could walk to the downtown with me. I gladly accepted! Alba is 26 years old, and she is extremely friendly. We talked about family and school, but then as we were walking, we ran into one of my friends from church. We just said hello in passing, but I mentioned to Alba that I knew the friend from church. That triggered a spark! Alba explained that she had wanted to go to church with me the other week but couldn’t remember the directions. I explained the location to her again, and I made sure she had my number. God uses all things, even just passing by a friend on the street. Please, please pray that God brings her Sunday. She seems to have an open heart. I admit my heart is anxious to know more people at school to be able to build friendships with them. I guess it’s possible I might have more of a ministry with my students than my fellow teachers; I honestly have no idea. However, as I was walking today the Spirit prompted me to pray for protection. It’s a good thing to want to share the Gospel with those around , but that can easily turn into a means of pride. If I am not careful, I could become too concerned with results, with how many people I can share with/bring to church etc. Not that I shouldn’t be excited when I see God produce the results, but my heart must seek Jesus first, not results. My motivation should always be to honor my Greater Father, not to get a sense of accomplishment from “my work.” It’s not my work. God is the one who performs the work; I just have the privilege of being used by God. 

That’s where my heart is at right now, so please pray with me. I will let you know how God decides to answer. 

Call to Disciple

      “...at midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the 

prisoners were listening to them…” Acts 16

As of late, I have been studying in the book of Acts. I could mention many things that the Lord has been teaching me from there. For example, the verse above shows the testimony and impact Paul and Silas were having in the midst of being imprisoned; they were Spirit filled.I think there are two main things that God has been pressing on my heart as I have mediated on this book: following the Spirit and making disciples. To be honest, I don’t think those are strong points in my life. I can be a very contemplative person and can over-think decisions.  I confuse the leading of the Spirit and the emotions of my own heart. Thankfully, that’s where the Word of God comes into play. I have to learn to live by what God teaches in Scripture. Living on my own in Cuenca has definitely put that to the test.  I am grateful for the push to know God’s word in a deeper manner, but I get fearful of the mistakes I will make.

Saturday I had the privilege of going to a wedding of a lady I have recently met through church. This was not only my first Ecuadorian wedding but also my first all outside wedding-what can I say, those are not common with the unpredictable weather of Iowa. At the reception, I was having a good conversation with a few friends, and I was asked what God has been teaching me lately. The concept of making disciples came quickly to mind. A huge part of following the Lord is devoting time to make disciples. My dad’s life is a beautiful example of that. However currently,  I don’t think I am making disciples, and I don’t think it’s for lack of opportunities. As I started to pray and ask the Lord to help me in this area, He started to bring certain people to mind. Part of disciple making is being proactive in the process, in seeking people out. 

I guess what I am trying to get at is that I need prayer, prayer for boldness to be a disciple maker. Now obviously this is not founded on my strength or determination-if so I will fail. However, God has called me here, and I want the time He has given me here to honor Him, to make much of Him. I don’t want to waste the time that was purchased with Christ’s life. I am a sinner saved by grace, and that’s the most important truth I can share with others. Pray that God will draw more souls from Cuenca to Himself and that I will play the part that He wants. 

A Good Busy

 Even though I am only teaching one class, life has been surprisingly busy, but in a blessed way. I’ve been able to get to know more people in Cuenca and enjoy a little more of the city as well. 

Last week I went to the zoo in Cuenca (it’s been here for about a year). The zoo was not incredibly large, but seeing and observing the animals reminded me of the beauty and complexity of God's creation. Overall, the afternoon was a blast! I went with some new friends and old friends, Cuencanos and Americans. To make it through the zoo, we had to walk up and down dirt paths. We were able to walk underneath the trees the monkeys were jumping from, and we got pretty close to some of the parrots. Although it does make me chuckle that deer and squirrels are in the zoo here:) What I was really thankful for was the Christian fellowship. God has been so kind to answer prayers! 

Saturday I was able to go to Ingapirca, an Incan ruin site, with two girls. That night I ended up helping serve at a Jewish dinner that La Capilla does every few months. This was part of the Spanish ministry at the church, so I had the privilege of getting to know some more people from the church. I love the idea of doing something like this, to realize a little more the depth of what took place at the Last Supper. Oh and guess what? One of the girls that was helping serve from the church actually studied at St. Ambrose in Davenport, Iowa. I was quite surprised! She’s the first Ecuadorian I have met that has actually been to Des Moines.

Sunday was another great service, being challenged from John 1. I was reminded of the importance of challenging/encouraging family (stemming from how Andrew brought Peter to Christ). God has placed us all in our families for specific reasons. Even though I am far away from my immediate family, I can pray for them and share with them what God is doing here in Cuenca.And Lord willing, I will meet individuals who will come to the family of Christ through my time here. My dad taught me the importance of being a fisher of men; I pray I can follow in his example. 

After church, I went out with a group for lunch. I get to hear all kinds of stories through these lunch outings, as usually there are always new people I don’t know. I must admit, I love it! There are not very many people my age at the church, but I think God has placed these individuals in my life for a reason. Hopefully I can meet people from work to invite to church to grow the young population of the church, but in the mean time I am enjoying all the listening I get to do. 

Later that afternoon, a group of us went out for coffee and walked downtown. We tried to hand out some tracts at the park. I must admit street evangelism has always been a stretch for me, but I was able to sit down with an elderly lady named Rosa. We had a good conversation, and I was able to share the Gospel with her via my Dad’s testimony ( the fact that my dad use to be Catholic comes in so handy in a country were over 95% are Catholic!). 

This week I have kept busy with teaching and taking my Spanish class in the morning, and my afternoons have filled up with visiting different people/attending a Bible study.

Life is starting to take form here, which is exciting. God has given me a place to live (hopefully roommates and furniture are soon to come!), a job where I can teach in a low-key setting, a church that is a joy to be apart of, and opportunities to share the Gospel. I think God is easing me into things. My full load of teaching will start in the end of September. I have to admit I am a little nervous at what that will look like, but then I have to remember how much God has done and is doing. Half the time I walk down the streets and have a grin on my face because I can still hardly believe everything that has happened. I get to live in Cuenca. What a joy and privilege it is to follow my Great Father.