Do you ever have weeks that completely take you by surprise? Well, that would accurately describe my last two weeks in Cuenca. I guess I am not even sure how to put to words what has occurred, but to show the faithfulness of God I do want to try.
Two weeks ago today I was sitting in the doctors office with my friend Julia (a single missionary from Ireland). She had been having some vision problems, and that day they got worse. This doctor visit led to some more doctors visit, and then finally to an MRI. We didn’t think these things would amount to much, especially since both doctors had told us that they were fairly certain it wasn’t something serious. Yet when we talked to the neurologist, we got news neither of expected us to hear: a 70% of MS (Multiple Sclerosis). Ever since those words left the doctors mouth a week and a half ago, life has been a blur.
The doctor advised Julia to go home for most tests, and Julia’s father and mission confirmed that would be the best idea. So instead of going on a missions trip to Loja as we had planned that weekend, Julia and I stayed to pack her things; she had to go home.
I wish I could tell you that I spent exorbitant amounts of time in prayer and in God’s Word… I tried but to be honest my mind was having trouble soaking everything - I wasn’t sure what to make of everything. Despite my weakness, God again proved His strength. For everything that He wanted me to do, for every phone call or explanation or errand of food or medicine, He truly became my Rock. Watching someone I truly respect and admire in tears for the unexpected turn of events...broke my heart. I didn’t always have words to say, which I took from the Lord as times to be silent and simply sit with my dear sister. She didn’t doubt God’s goodness; she just didn’t understand, like the rest of us to be honest. I don’t think anyone is immune to being surprised by a phone call or a doctor’s visit. Sometimes God does prepare our hearts for these things, but sometimes we get shocked by circumstances. That doesn’t mean God is cruel- I think I’m learning that it just means we will learn to know and lean on Him more fully by being faced with unexpected. Even when our hearts may not seem to be prepared, God is working and piecing things together we never would have thought of as being important ( For example, Julia had recently moved into the missionary house at church and put many of her possessions in storage. She knew it was God’s will, although she was hesitant at first. When the time came for her to pack up last week, it was a lot less stressful because she only had a small portion of things to take care of instead of all her belongings).
The week became a little more complicated for me as well as I was given a night class. At first, I was pretty discouraged about that because I knew that would take up more time, and I wanted to be around for Julia as much as possible. Yet even in small situations, I think God was reminding me He is in control, and if He allows a certain outcome to a situation, He has a good and loving reason for it.
Praise God before Julia had to leave, we had some good laughs and a few despedidas (going away parties). Though it was hard for her to leave, she was able to spend time with the people she loves. She has such a heart for the country of Ecuador.
Yesterday she finally left. I knew it would be hard to say goodbye, but it hit me a little harder than I expected. I think part of it was that there was nothing else I could do to help-that had kept me going a lot of time. I didn’t always give myself a whole lot of time to process because I wanted to fulfill the role God wanted me too. Yesterday the tears and sadness finally came. Not only was I sad for all that she was going through, but it hit me that one of my dearest friends was leaving.We’ve had a lot of laughs together, but she was also the one I could always go to and trust and know that she would give godly counsel. She will be missed.
Through everything, God truly made Himself known to me in a bigger way.He showed me again this is exactly where He wants me to be.I saw how the things He had taken my family through over the years had given me an understanding for how He wanted me to serve these past two weeks. There are times to pray and talk, times to cry and listen, and times to find reasons laugh (my sister Liz taught me the importance of that last one). I also became more thankful for the example of my parents. My mom was always the calm one when it came to medical issues, and she did a good job of asking the necessary questions. My dad was always the one to pray, again and again. I didn’t follow their examples perfectly, but I praise God a godly mother and father who taught me at the end of the day God’s strength and grace are what sustain us.
I admit I leave you with a bit of a heavy heart, but a hopeful heavy heart. I know those doesn’t usually go together, but God can make them go together. God is my strength, and at the end of the day, despite heartache or unanswered questions, I can rest in His goodness.
Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord.
Psalm 27:4
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