That They May Know

About 15 months ago I was reading through the book of Ezekiel as I was spending time in Quito. In  the book, a phrase  is repeated over and over again that truly resonated with me.

That they may know that I am the LORD.

It  was in this time God really started to plant the desire to return to Ecuador. He made it evident to me in so many ways that this was His work, His plan. I guess I never really understood or considered the challenges ( although Im sure I probably said something to the effect of “I’m sure there will be hard days,” before I left). 

Work started this week. Time and patience are always required when adjusting to a new job. I just tend to forget that . It’s the beginning of day four, and I’ve definitely had a roller coaster of a week. During the week, I have one adult class and two kids class. The kids classes brighten my day and make me hope that I have the privilege of being a mom someday. I am done teaching by 5:30 during the week, which is a blessing (and then a Sat. morning class). As I start to learn the ropes of my job, I end up spending a lot of time on my own. I have definitely had many moments were I feel like a loner. I don’t know many of my coworkers yet, so most of my conversations during the day are pretty superficial. By the end of the day, I have spent a lot of time with people but not necessarily talking to anyone, and then I come home to a quiet apartment (still not sure what God wants to do with my living situation). When I spend a good amount of time by myself, discouragement can easily come. I remember going on walks sometimes with my sister Liz, and she could always tell when I hadn't  been spending enough time with people. She would look at me and just say “Hannah, you are spending way too much time by yourself. Snap out of it!” I would get a little frustrated with that, but now I really miss those walks.  

What is it that I find so challenging? Well for starters, I don’t know anyone very well. That’s always part of a new job. Thankfully I think there are a couple of girls that are believers at school, so I am hoping to get to know them better. Also, I am use to working in Christian environments. Besides a daycare job my freshman year in college, I realized that all of my other jobs have always been founded or run by Christians. I am in a whole new ball game now. The last couple of months I have been able to help and spend a lot of time with people at church, but now that will not be as frequent- that’s hard for me as well. I have definitely had moments the last couple of weeks were I wished I could be in full time ministry helping out at the church. Maybe God will use that desire in the future and ,although that’s not a wrong to want to serve in the church, that is not where God has called me full-time right now. I think I miss having people along side of me living for the same mission, to know God and make much of Him.

 Those are all the thoughts that have been swimming in my mind, but here are the truths. 

God has called me here. Last fall we had a missions conference at my church, and when  the wife of a  young missionary couple (that I respect deeply) was asked what was one thing people entering into missions should know she said, “Make sure you are called.” I understand that better now. Hardships and trials will always come, and sometimes my only anchor for being here is knowing that God has called me. I am not an official missionary, but God has clearly given me a mission field. Building friendships and relationships with people will definitely take time, along with understanding my job. However, there are so many lost people at work. I need to spend more time thinking and praying for them than focusing on myself. That’s where Satan likes to get me, focusing too much on how I feel or what I think. That’s what I need God’s word is for, to fend and defend  against the enemy’s lies and the selfishness of my own heart.

 I will also have to be proactive in getting to know people- this will take work. I will have to make that a priority, because only seeing teachers in-between classes will not build a very good friendship.

Before I left Iowa, I remember that one of reasons God laid on my heart for coming to Cuenca  was so that I would get out of my Christian bubbles. I don’t want to hide or just do what is comfortable. Don’t get me wrong, I know that I need Christian friends, and God has blessed me in that area. However, the main focus of my time can not be spent with them. What is the right balance between my mission field and church/Christian fellowship? To be honest, I am not sure. I am new at a lot of this, and I can get overwhelmed or scared. Those moments only come though when I am  focusing too much on my present circumstances and not on the Gospel. God is still my Greater Father, and He is still with me every step of the way. He has planned all my steps and my stops as well (George Muller paraphrase). He is putting all of this situations and challenges in my life so that I may Know He is the LORD. 

WINDS OF CHANGE

Three months. It’s kind of crazy to believe that I have been here that long. The time has gone by fast, and my Father has been so good to teach me through it all. He has blessed with many opportunities to share the Gospel, and I have the privilege of serving in a Gospel centered church. 

I wondered what would fill my time in August and September before work, and I prayed God would give me ways to serve Him. He was kind and answered that prayer. I can honestly say that I have not had a day where I have been board;) It’s been a blessing because I have been able to get to know the believers in church better, which will be a good foundation. 

Life is about to change once again though. I have meetings this weekend, and Monday I start teaching. Although I am excited, I always get a little nervous when I am about to start something new.  I don’t know what my schedule will look like, which will effect my involvement at church.I also have never had a full-time secular job, so that makes me a little uneasy. I must admit I have had my moments where I wish I could be a full time missionary ,helping in the church; that would be the comfortable thing for me to do. Maybe someday I will have that privilege, but that’s not what God has called me to right now. As I have been spending time in the Word, God reminded me of the needs of the lost. I was ashamed at how little I had thought and prayed for my upcoming ministry at school. That’s my mission field. Will there be other believers there? I have no idea. But my Father will walk with me. 

My housing situation is still a little complicated, and that has proved to be somewhat of a struggle. I have my moments where I feel lost at what I am suppose to do or how I am suppose to handle situations. However, I think that’s where God wants me. I am not strong enough to figure this out. The prideful, perfectionist side of me thinks that I should, so this is more of God’s uncomfortable grace to root out the foolish confidence I have in my own understanding and produce a deeper trust in Him. 

   Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning,
    for I am trusting you.
   Show me where to walk,
       for I give myself to you...Teach me to do your will,
       for you are my God.
  May your gracious Spirit lead me forward
       on a firm footing.

                                                             Psalm 143

DIY 101

As a kid, my mom always had HGTV  or cooking shows- my sisters and I would usually groan and ask her if we could watch something else. Funny how tables turn, and now I am wishing I had paid more attention to these things when I was growing up. 

In preparing to move to Cuenca, I knew in August and September I probably wouldn’t have a lot of teaching opportunities, and I wondered what I would do; I didn’t want to waste time, and let me tell you, the Lord has taken care of that :) I am currently helping with two major projects at church, which truly is exciting for me. 

Calvary Chapel has two houses right beside the church that they rent, and one of those  is the mission house. The house is used for missionaries or teams when they come to the church. My friend Julia, who has been a great encouragement and answer to prayer, moved into the house a couple of weeks ago. The house is…. well for lack of better terms, quite dated in an unattractive fashion. Once Karen (another lady from church) saw the house as well, we wanted to see how we could help. We started brainstorming ideas, and I must admit I started using Pintrest quite a bit! We are in the process of painting and cleaning up the house. We have a long way to go, and it will kind of depend on what get’s donated to how far we can go; I am trying to be as creative as possible in an economic way. Karen has a lot more experience in this area, and so I am thankful she helping out quite a bit! I admit I kind of wish my mom was here to help with all of this- she always had good solutions to house decorating problems; however this has made me more thankful for my mom’s example. We never had a lot of money, but she always tried to make our house a place we would want to come and spent time in at the end of the day. I want to carry the same idea for the mission house, that it becomes a place God can use to encourage the body and give rest and comfort to those who need it. 

The next project is related to Thanksgiving- yes I know it’s still about ten weeks away,  but I am learning good planning takes time. Once again Karen has been a huge help. We both research ideas, and it’s so helpful for me to have someone to discuss all the ideas with and who gives constructive  feedback. We are going to try to do a traditional dinner with the individuals from the English service. Prayers would be much appreciated as well. I can be a little over ambitious sometimes with ideas, but most importantly I want it to be something that honors the Lord and remains focused on all the blessings He has given us.

Needless to say, life has not been without activity, and for that I praise God. I am thankful that I can use my time off in a way that honors my Father. I have had some challenging moments as well. I am not sure what is happening in the roommate area-it seems the plans I thought were sure are falling through. That might surprise me, but it doesn’t surprise my God. My prayer is that I am just soft to what the Lord wants me to do. Right now I think that’s just wait; I need His direction, but until He makes it clear what He wants, I will wait and just keep pouring out my heart to Him. 

Keep asking, and it will be given to you. Keep searching, and you will find.

Keep knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who

asks receives, and the one who searches finds, and to the one who knows, the

door will be opened. What man among you, if his son asks him for bread, will 

give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you then, who 

are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your 

Father in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!

Matthew 7:7-11

Thoughts from Luke&Nehemiah

Luke 1 has long been one of my favorite chapters. I love the background story to the birth of Christ-it gives more depth to the birth of my Savior. This week I was able to attend the ladies Bible study at church(pluses to not having classes). A lot was mentioned, but what struck me was the beauty of prayer. The question was posed “How differently would I pray if I knew God was listening? I pondered that. Yes I pray, but how much contemplation or thankfulness do I give to the truth that God hears me? I think that would increase the sincerity and depth of my prayers.Life will always be full of challenges, and my heart will be prone to question God’s work or timing. However, I am learning more and more He tends to answer prayers in ways I don’t expect so I clearly see His hand. Pastor Pat once said “God leads according to our desires, not according to our plans.” That resonates with me now that I am in Cuenca. God knew the desires of my heart, but until God worked in certain ways, my plans were never to live in Ecuador on my own. God fulfilled the desires of my heart through His plan of me returning to Ecuador; His plan was better than I even imagined (Eph.3:20).

 I have to admit at 23, I have a lot of ideas or desires in my heart, but sometimes I am afraid to pray them. Why? Fear of disappointment and fear of caring too much about something God may not have for me. But as I have been reminded of in our study in Nehemiah (which I am about to get to) fear is a lack of trust in God. If I really believe God is good, I will give Him all the desires of my heart. If He closes the door I think I want opened, He has His reasons, and though it might take my heart a little while to catch up, I can trust His hand. What I can be sure of is that He hears and is at work. Zechariah and Elizabeth had long prayed for a son, but the timing is not what they thought or initially wanted. Yet God’s timing is always perfect, and He truly cared and wanted to bless them. He just needed them to wait.

Nehemiah- In a mid-week Bible study at church we have been studying this Old Testament book. I’ve really enjoyed the study and been challenged by the truths evident in the story. We’ve only made it to chapter five , and to regurgitate all my notes would be quite the post, so I thought it best to mention the highlights. 

The Jews were working on repairing the wall; this was no small task. To accomplish such a feat required time and sacrifice. By devoting time to this work, the men had to forgo their normal work-a sacrifice. A successful wall would also demand unity. Throughout the book the Jews had times where they exemplified strong unity and times where they failed in that area. That’s true of the body of Christ today. I’ve always agreed that unity is important, but the more I observe in ministry, the more I see the validity of that principle. A body has to have all the parts to function to full capacity. Now I can’t control the all the reactions of the body, but I should always be looking to see how I can honor God by serving the body. Unity is what Satan tries to destroy, which makes sense. Without unity, destruction and chaos soon follow. 

Nehemiah’s job was not easy. He took the lead many times, not just in organizing the construction of the wall, but in defending it when attacks came and addressing  sin when it penetrated among the Jewish believers. Sounds a bit overwhelming, yet he responded in a godly fashion. How? He feared God. He cared more about pleasing his God then pleasing men. He was zealous to make much of God. 

This is what the Lord has been teaching me through His Word this week. I will be sure to update soon about different opportunities God is giving me before I start work, but for today I just wanted to focus on these truths.