Wandering for Food

The other night a group of us from church decided to get some food after the service. We had about 15 of us in the group, so it took us a while to decide where we wanted to go. Then, once we finally got downtown, the restaurant we chose didn’t want to accommodate our large party. So we left, and we just started wandering the streets of Cuenca, trying to figure out where to go. We stopped at a few different places before finally finding a place that everyone liked and could afford. I actually found it all quite humorous, as it’s not out of the ordinary for decisions to take a while in Ecuadorian culture. All in all, We all had a good time , and at about 10:30 I finally got some food:)  In the process of walking, a couple of guys joked that this experience would give me something to write about. I laughed and didn’t think much of it, but with what God has been teaching me lately, the situation actually made a descent analogy.

I have now been in Ecuador for a little over four months. I’ve been spending some time reflecting on what God has been doing, and I feel like a lot has happened in four short months. I think about 90% of the things that I originally thought would occupy my time have barely been part of my life. However, things are turning out better than I could have imagined. God’s goodness in the details continues to amaze me. That being said, I have experienced struggles I didn’t expect either, yet I am knowing God better through the struggles. The two main areas that applies to are  living conditions and ministry.

I thought that I would be living with one or possibly two of my good friends here. As time passed though, those plans didn’t turn out how I had hoped. That weighed on me and discouraged me for a while, but for the past week, I have been living with a couple from church. They graciously offered a room in their house to me, and I am so grateful. To live with people and not come home to an empty apartment is such a blessing, and they truly have been an encouragement to me. God has and is taking care of me in so many ways. 

For the past two and a half months I have been attending Calvary Chapel. I didn’t really see that one coming either. I assumed I would end up going to one of the baptist churches that I had some connections with, but when I arrived God showed me a different plan. I am so thankful He did. I love helping and serving at the church. The more time I spend there, the more like a church family everyone becomes. I sincerely get fed from the Word of God each week.

The last couple of weeks my struggle/question has been how to balance my time. Little by little I am getting to know my co-workers, and I do want to be a light and a testimony to them. However, I sense the Lord increasing my heart for the ministries at church. I don’t know what that means or how exactly I am suppose to view things. I’ve had some very candid prayers with the Lord asking Him if I am doing all of what He wants me to do. I  get scared that I am missing things sometimes, or I question if I am really making an impact for the kingdom. If I am not, my life is not following the will of God. I can tend to be a little over analytical and think too intensely about these things. Moments like that make me miss my dad. I could always go to him and ask him all my questions. It’s not that I don’t communicate with my dad (he’s the only person I consistently email), but I know I have to learn to lean on my Greater Father. God is patient with me, and by His grace I am knowing Him better each day here. I have so many areas that need growth and change, but I praise God His love is not based on my actions; He will always be working in my life because He is good. 

Just like we didn’t expect to wander the streets for so long to find food, I could not have foreseen all the plans and changes God would have me for my first months here;routes kept changing. That night we enjoyed the walk despite all the delays,  and in the same way I am appreciating all “the wanderings” God is taking me through. I hope and pray I take things a day at a time, that I fulfill what my Father wants. A verse  from church this morning kind of sums it all up. 

Jesus said to them, My food (nourishment) is to do the will (pleasure) of Him Who sent Me and to accomplish and completely finish His work.

John 4:34 (AMPV)

Understanding and Appreciating Singleness

Singleness- this is not exactly a topic I foresaw myself blogging about. Why? Well, I’m not sure exactly. I think everyone has so many thoughts on this topic, and though it is where I am at, I don’t always want to draw attention to it. It’s one of the stages of life, but for whatever reason, God has laid this on my heart to write about. I have put it off for a little while, but it’s good to be transparent, and more importantly follow the Lord’s leading, so here goes.

I am a single 23 year old teacher who lives in Ecuador. That’s my description, but that’s not my identity. Do I have my days that I struggle being single? Of course I do. I am not Miss Independent, and I never had a huge desire to go off on my own.I do enjoy teaching, but I would drop that job in a second to be a wife and a mom. However, God has His perfect plan, and He continues to surprise me with where He leads me and the desires He places in my heart. I am learning more and more to enjoy where God has me now while continuing to pray and give Him the desires of my heart. 

Singleness has it’s season and blessings. For example, I have more time to give to the many friendships God has given me. At work, that’s trying to get to know co-workers and trying to set up a time to go out for coffee. For my Christian friends, that’s making time to check up and pray with one another. For my church family, that’s serving where and whenever possible. God has given me a lot of time where I can focus on other people. Do I do that perfectly? Sadly, no, but by God’s grace I am learning. Singleness does not mean I have to spend an exorbitant amount of time by myself; I just have to be a little more proactive in investing in people. That is essential for growth, or , as I have learned, I become even more self-focused. 

Side note: God answered and directed and Im going to move in with a couple from church for the time being, and I                

                           am thankful for that!

The best part of singleness, as I have come to learn and appreciate, is the time I get to spend with the Lord. Regardless of what stage of life I am at, this must always be part of my daily life, but at this stage it’s different. Sometimes the only person I can go to is God, and it’s clear to me that He alone understands. In the last few weeks I have been very aware of my weaknesses. But you know what? God has shown me even deeper how strong He is. He is my Rock, my Savior. I fall into the trap of thinking that because I’m a single girl I need to learn to tough it out, to be strong on my own. That’s a lie. My God is strong for me. It’s through His strength, through His grace, through His truth that I can face each day and decision. Decision making has never been my forte, however I am thankful for the challenges I have faced in the last few months because I was  forced to rely on God to make decisions. And through these struggles, God’s promises have become more precious. Sure my emotions may go up and down, but when I come back to God’s Word, my heart is quieted, and I am learning to rest more and more in my Greater Father. My identity is always to be found in Christ.

I have no idea how long the Lord will have me in this stage in life, but I am ok with that. That’s not my job to figure out. Right now I pray that I learn to know my God better and rely on Him alone. He’s always going to be my Hope and rest. 

Behold, God, my salvation! I will trust and not be afraid, for the Lord God is my strength and song; yes, He has become my salvation. Isaiah 12:2

That They May Know

About 15 months ago I was reading through the book of Ezekiel as I was spending time in Quito. In  the book, a phrase  is repeated over and over again that truly resonated with me.

That they may know that I am the LORD.

It  was in this time God really started to plant the desire to return to Ecuador. He made it evident to me in so many ways that this was His work, His plan. I guess I never really understood or considered the challenges ( although Im sure I probably said something to the effect of “I’m sure there will be hard days,” before I left). 

Work started this week. Time and patience are always required when adjusting to a new job. I just tend to forget that . It’s the beginning of day four, and I’ve definitely had a roller coaster of a week. During the week, I have one adult class and two kids class. The kids classes brighten my day and make me hope that I have the privilege of being a mom someday. I am done teaching by 5:30 during the week, which is a blessing (and then a Sat. morning class). As I start to learn the ropes of my job, I end up spending a lot of time on my own. I have definitely had many moments were I feel like a loner. I don’t know many of my coworkers yet, so most of my conversations during the day are pretty superficial. By the end of the day, I have spent a lot of time with people but not necessarily talking to anyone, and then I come home to a quiet apartment (still not sure what God wants to do with my living situation). When I spend a good amount of time by myself, discouragement can easily come. I remember going on walks sometimes with my sister Liz, and she could always tell when I hadn't  been spending enough time with people. She would look at me and just say “Hannah, you are spending way too much time by yourself. Snap out of it!” I would get a little frustrated with that, but now I really miss those walks.  

What is it that I find so challenging? Well for starters, I don’t know anyone very well. That’s always part of a new job. Thankfully I think there are a couple of girls that are believers at school, so I am hoping to get to know them better. Also, I am use to working in Christian environments. Besides a daycare job my freshman year in college, I realized that all of my other jobs have always been founded or run by Christians. I am in a whole new ball game now. The last couple of months I have been able to help and spend a lot of time with people at church, but now that will not be as frequent- that’s hard for me as well. I have definitely had moments the last couple of weeks were I wished I could be in full time ministry helping out at the church. Maybe God will use that desire in the future and ,although that’s not a wrong to want to serve in the church, that is not where God has called me full-time right now. I think I miss having people along side of me living for the same mission, to know God and make much of Him.

 Those are all the thoughts that have been swimming in my mind, but here are the truths. 

God has called me here. Last fall we had a missions conference at my church, and when  the wife of a  young missionary couple (that I respect deeply) was asked what was one thing people entering into missions should know she said, “Make sure you are called.” I understand that better now. Hardships and trials will always come, and sometimes my only anchor for being here is knowing that God has called me. I am not an official missionary, but God has clearly given me a mission field. Building friendships and relationships with people will definitely take time, along with understanding my job. However, there are so many lost people at work. I need to spend more time thinking and praying for them than focusing on myself. That’s where Satan likes to get me, focusing too much on how I feel or what I think. That’s what I need God’s word is for, to fend and defend  against the enemy’s lies and the selfishness of my own heart.

 I will also have to be proactive in getting to know people- this will take work. I will have to make that a priority, because only seeing teachers in-between classes will not build a very good friendship.

Before I left Iowa, I remember that one of reasons God laid on my heart for coming to Cuenca  was so that I would get out of my Christian bubbles. I don’t want to hide or just do what is comfortable. Don’t get me wrong, I know that I need Christian friends, and God has blessed me in that area. However, the main focus of my time can not be spent with them. What is the right balance between my mission field and church/Christian fellowship? To be honest, I am not sure. I am new at a lot of this, and I can get overwhelmed or scared. Those moments only come though when I am  focusing too much on my present circumstances and not on the Gospel. God is still my Greater Father, and He is still with me every step of the way. He has planned all my steps and my stops as well (George Muller paraphrase). He is putting all of this situations and challenges in my life so that I may Know He is the LORD. 

WINDS OF CHANGE

Three months. It’s kind of crazy to believe that I have been here that long. The time has gone by fast, and my Father has been so good to teach me through it all. He has blessed with many opportunities to share the Gospel, and I have the privilege of serving in a Gospel centered church. 

I wondered what would fill my time in August and September before work, and I prayed God would give me ways to serve Him. He was kind and answered that prayer. I can honestly say that I have not had a day where I have been board;) It’s been a blessing because I have been able to get to know the believers in church better, which will be a good foundation. 

Life is about to change once again though. I have meetings this weekend, and Monday I start teaching. Although I am excited, I always get a little nervous when I am about to start something new.  I don’t know what my schedule will look like, which will effect my involvement at church.I also have never had a full-time secular job, so that makes me a little uneasy. I must admit I have had my moments where I wish I could be a full time missionary ,helping in the church; that would be the comfortable thing for me to do. Maybe someday I will have that privilege, but that’s not what God has called me to right now. As I have been spending time in the Word, God reminded me of the needs of the lost. I was ashamed at how little I had thought and prayed for my upcoming ministry at school. That’s my mission field. Will there be other believers there? I have no idea. But my Father will walk with me. 

My housing situation is still a little complicated, and that has proved to be somewhat of a struggle. I have my moments where I feel lost at what I am suppose to do or how I am suppose to handle situations. However, I think that’s where God wants me. I am not strong enough to figure this out. The prideful, perfectionist side of me thinks that I should, so this is more of God’s uncomfortable grace to root out the foolish confidence I have in my own understanding and produce a deeper trust in Him. 

   Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning,
    for I am trusting you.
   Show me where to walk,
       for I give myself to you...Teach me to do your will,
       for you are my God.
  May your gracious Spirit lead me forward
       on a firm footing.

                                                             Psalm 143

DIY 101

As a kid, my mom always had HGTV  or cooking shows- my sisters and I would usually groan and ask her if we could watch something else. Funny how tables turn, and now I am wishing I had paid more attention to these things when I was growing up. 

In preparing to move to Cuenca, I knew in August and September I probably wouldn’t have a lot of teaching opportunities, and I wondered what I would do; I didn’t want to waste time, and let me tell you, the Lord has taken care of that :) I am currently helping with two major projects at church, which truly is exciting for me. 

Calvary Chapel has two houses right beside the church that they rent, and one of those  is the mission house. The house is used for missionaries or teams when they come to the church. My friend Julia, who has been a great encouragement and answer to prayer, moved into the house a couple of weeks ago. The house is…. well for lack of better terms, quite dated in an unattractive fashion. Once Karen (another lady from church) saw the house as well, we wanted to see how we could help. We started brainstorming ideas, and I must admit I started using Pintrest quite a bit! We are in the process of painting and cleaning up the house. We have a long way to go, and it will kind of depend on what get’s donated to how far we can go; I am trying to be as creative as possible in an economic way. Karen has a lot more experience in this area, and so I am thankful she helping out quite a bit! I admit I kind of wish my mom was here to help with all of this- she always had good solutions to house decorating problems; however this has made me more thankful for my mom’s example. We never had a lot of money, but she always tried to make our house a place we would want to come and spent time in at the end of the day. I want to carry the same idea for the mission house, that it becomes a place God can use to encourage the body and give rest and comfort to those who need it. 

The next project is related to Thanksgiving- yes I know it’s still about ten weeks away,  but I am learning good planning takes time. Once again Karen has been a huge help. We both research ideas, and it’s so helpful for me to have someone to discuss all the ideas with and who gives constructive  feedback. We are going to try to do a traditional dinner with the individuals from the English service. Prayers would be much appreciated as well. I can be a little over ambitious sometimes with ideas, but most importantly I want it to be something that honors the Lord and remains focused on all the blessings He has given us.

Needless to say, life has not been without activity, and for that I praise God. I am thankful that I can use my time off in a way that honors my Father. I have had some challenging moments as well. I am not sure what is happening in the roommate area-it seems the plans I thought were sure are falling through. That might surprise me, but it doesn’t surprise my God. My prayer is that I am just soft to what the Lord wants me to do. Right now I think that’s just wait; I need His direction, but until He makes it clear what He wants, I will wait and just keep pouring out my heart to Him. 

Keep asking, and it will be given to you. Keep searching, and you will find.

Keep knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who

asks receives, and the one who searches finds, and to the one who knows, the

door will be opened. What man among you, if his son asks him for bread, will 

give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you then, who 

are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your 

Father in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!

Matthew 7:7-11

Thoughts from Luke&Nehemiah

Luke 1 has long been one of my favorite chapters. I love the background story to the birth of Christ-it gives more depth to the birth of my Savior. This week I was able to attend the ladies Bible study at church(pluses to not having classes). A lot was mentioned, but what struck me was the beauty of prayer. The question was posed “How differently would I pray if I knew God was listening? I pondered that. Yes I pray, but how much contemplation or thankfulness do I give to the truth that God hears me? I think that would increase the sincerity and depth of my prayers.Life will always be full of challenges, and my heart will be prone to question God’s work or timing. However, I am learning more and more He tends to answer prayers in ways I don’t expect so I clearly see His hand. Pastor Pat once said “God leads according to our desires, not according to our plans.” That resonates with me now that I am in Cuenca. God knew the desires of my heart, but until God worked in certain ways, my plans were never to live in Ecuador on my own. God fulfilled the desires of my heart through His plan of me returning to Ecuador; His plan was better than I even imagined (Eph.3:20).

 I have to admit at 23, I have a lot of ideas or desires in my heart, but sometimes I am afraid to pray them. Why? Fear of disappointment and fear of caring too much about something God may not have for me. But as I have been reminded of in our study in Nehemiah (which I am about to get to) fear is a lack of trust in God. If I really believe God is good, I will give Him all the desires of my heart. If He closes the door I think I want opened, He has His reasons, and though it might take my heart a little while to catch up, I can trust His hand. What I can be sure of is that He hears and is at work. Zechariah and Elizabeth had long prayed for a son, but the timing is not what they thought or initially wanted. Yet God’s timing is always perfect, and He truly cared and wanted to bless them. He just needed them to wait.

Nehemiah- In a mid-week Bible study at church we have been studying this Old Testament book. I’ve really enjoyed the study and been challenged by the truths evident in the story. We’ve only made it to chapter five , and to regurgitate all my notes would be quite the post, so I thought it best to mention the highlights. 

The Jews were working on repairing the wall; this was no small task. To accomplish such a feat required time and sacrifice. By devoting time to this work, the men had to forgo their normal work-a sacrifice. A successful wall would also demand unity. Throughout the book the Jews had times where they exemplified strong unity and times where they failed in that area. That’s true of the body of Christ today. I’ve always agreed that unity is important, but the more I observe in ministry, the more I see the validity of that principle. A body has to have all the parts to function to full capacity. Now I can’t control the all the reactions of the body, but I should always be looking to see how I can honor God by serving the body. Unity is what Satan tries to destroy, which makes sense. Without unity, destruction and chaos soon follow. 

Nehemiah’s job was not easy. He took the lead many times, not just in organizing the construction of the wall, but in defending it when attacks came and addressing  sin when it penetrated among the Jewish believers. Sounds a bit overwhelming, yet he responded in a godly fashion. How? He feared God. He cared more about pleasing his God then pleasing men. He was zealous to make much of God. 

This is what the Lord has been teaching me through His Word this week. I will be sure to update soon about different opportunities God is giving me before I start work, but for today I just wanted to focus on these truths. 

Praises & Petitions

Today I want to tell you about three girls that God has laid on my heart, as praises and prayer requests. Their names are Reanna, Merci, and Alba. Let’s start with Reanna.

I met Reanna the first Sunday I attended Calvary Chapel. She’s from California and came for a few weddings of friends (She use to live here as a missionary). Through a mutual friend we started to hang out, and for the last two weeks I think we have done something almost everyday. She left this past Wednesday to return to the States, but she was such an encouragement to me. We enjoy a lot of the same movies and books, which produced a lot of laughs. But more importantly she  has a deep love for God. We were able to have some spiritual and meaningful conversations ,which was such a blessing. Not that I can’t do that in Spanish, but it’s more of a challenge (my Spanish still has a long way to go). Also through her friendship I was able to get to know more believers from the church. Little by little I am getting to know the people of the church better, and I hope that continues to grow. Reanna may have only been here for a short time, but God definitely used her in a great way in my life. God blesses with things I don’t even know how to pray for.

. 

One of the ministries the English service has is a mid-week Bible study. This study is usually held at a dear couple’s house, Karen and David. They have been another blessing to me. I love conversing with Karen; she definitely has the gift of encouragement and giving. Karen’s maid is named Merci, who is 21.

Side note: For those of you who are not as familiar with South American culture, having a maid is extremely common here. When I lived here as a child, we had a maid. In reality it provides more jobs for women who are usually in positions that really need jobs, and hopefully it is a means to witness to them as well. 

A few weeks ago I was able to sit down with her and get to know her a little bit. She wants to work on her English. As I shared in my last post, God has laid on my heart the importance of discipleship. I don’t have a whole lot figured out yet, but I am praying about trying to give her some English lessons, lessons that will include not just grammar and vocabulary, but the Gospel. Please pray for wisdom and guidance there. So much of life is still new territory for me.

As I have mentioned, I have had the privilege to teach a class the last few weeks. And yesterday God blessed with another opportunity that concretely pointed to His hand. After class my student Alba asked if she could walk to the downtown with me. I gladly accepted! Alba is 26 years old, and she is extremely friendly. We talked about family and school, but then as we were walking, we ran into one of my friends from church. We just said hello in passing, but I mentioned to Alba that I knew the friend from church. That triggered a spark! Alba explained that she had wanted to go to church with me the other week but couldn’t remember the directions. I explained the location to her again, and I made sure she had my number. God uses all things, even just passing by a friend on the street. Please, please pray that God brings her Sunday. She seems to have an open heart. I admit my heart is anxious to know more people at school to be able to build friendships with them. I guess it’s possible I might have more of a ministry with my students than my fellow teachers; I honestly have no idea. However, as I was walking today the Spirit prompted me to pray for protection. It’s a good thing to want to share the Gospel with those around , but that can easily turn into a means of pride. If I am not careful, I could become too concerned with results, with how many people I can share with/bring to church etc. Not that I shouldn’t be excited when I see God produce the results, but my heart must seek Jesus first, not results. My motivation should always be to honor my Greater Father, not to get a sense of accomplishment from “my work.” It’s not my work. God is the one who performs the work; I just have the privilege of being used by God. 

That’s where my heart is at right now, so please pray with me. I will let you know how God decides to answer.